You gotta let it go. You gotta let everything go. And I know you're tired and sad, and sick of smiling when your world is falling apart.

But you gotta let it go. Gotta let go of all the people who've hurt you. You've got to forgive some of them, send the others on their ways. You gotta start to trust people again, gotta start to love.

You have to forget. Forget all the bad times, and focus on the good times. Ren fair, prom, idewild, delgrosso, those days were everything went right. And everything isn't goint to go right all the time, but you have to accept it, then you gotta let it go.

There's nothing you can do to change the world. You're just one girl, but there are things you can do, lives you can touch. And all the bad things life throws at you, you gotta let it go.

Because holding onto it is hurting your friends, the people who care about you, and yourself. And it's not doing any good, so let it go. Take a deep breath, and start to walk on.

And maybe he never loved you. Maybe they wish they never raised you. Maybe she hates you. It doesn't matter, because there's nothing you can do about it. Except let it go.

Enjoy this, maybe you won't end up where you thought you would be, but just let life take you away. You never know what may happen.

Sincerely,
Yourself

Name: Mandy
Nano-name: salemswitch
Locale: Johnstown, PA
Age: 17
Times Nano-ed: Once
Times Completed: I didn't even get close to half way last year. A lot happened.
Novels: None in progress, none completed, and none published :-p
Poetry: A few published in school newspapers, the Tribune once, and a poetry anthology
Genre/s: I've really broadened my horizons, and I'll write just about anything, but my favorite genre is still kind of modern fantasy.
Writing Style: I want my words to paint a beautiful, yet deadly and slightly melancholic picture. Whenever I write something, I struggle to show both the good and bad, or light and dark, good and evil, to portray both sides of the world.
Favorite Author: Hmmm... I have a bunch. I love J.K. Rowling's witty banter style, but I love the way Francesca Lia Block describes everything, in sort of a dark fairy tale style.
Nano Idea: I actually didn't decide to do Nano again until last night, when I came up with the best idea. There's a character I've toyed with for a long time, Valentina Tillue. She's a smart, gifted "Mutant" who happens to be a very important figure from history (can't give it away though :-P) Basically, the story would be about her and her friends, all "mutants", who all play a pivotal part in the world's apocalpyse, and Tina's place in it. I hope to begin the novel with Valentina as a teenager, about seventeen, and work through it as she tries to find a normal life amoung what could be the end of the world. It would show her trying to balance her inevitable destiny with the life she wants, fighting for fairness to all the people like her, whose powers make it hard for them to fit in with regular humans, while also fighting the brewing forces on the horizon, and dealing with everything a young woman's life brings, such as love and friends, and even a few deaths along the way.

Nanogoal: I love this character, and I honestly believe that if I apply myself, I can make the whole word count :-)

I know everyone is expecting this to be an emo post. But it's not going to be. I just wanted to say, right here, right now, that I am okay. Actually, I'm more than okay, I'm great. It's over, and y'know what? It's not my fault.

Any boy that makes you cry isn't worth it. Anyone who makes you feel like you're worth less isn't someone you should be with. Anyone who likes to put you down should be friend in the fires of hell and brimstone. Good lord, I'm so dense. I can't believe this only hit me now. All my friends have been saying it, why couldn't I believe it?

I'm me. I'm who I was meant to be. Drama queen, or no. I'm a diva, the life of the party. It's my personality. Yes, it's caused problems, but the people who really loved me and cared at me have always just told me to "Stop being an Evita" or "Stop whining, melodrama." To all of you, thank you, for understanding that a tiger can't change it's stripes, nor would it want to. You've always been there for me. I've been blessed with the best friends the world has ever seen, old and new.

I deserve something great. I've been through a lot in my life, and I'm human, I make mistakes. But I've made it through every bad thing that's ever happened, be it caused by myself or someone else. And I think that those experiences have created someone stronger, maybe stronger than I believed I was.

I'm lucky. Not everyone like me is.

So this is my solemn promise. From now on, I'll be my best. From now on, I'm going to appreciate the people who've stuck beside me for so long. From now on, there is no more regret. I'm still alive today for a reason, and I can make a difference in someone's life.

Thank you loves :-)
-Mandy.

Once in a lifetime, you find a gem. A friend that always knows when to tell you to shut up, and one that knows when to tell you it's going to be okay. I've been fortunate enough to find more than one person in my life that fits that description, but today belongs to one more than others.

Happy Birthday, Meg. She's turned seventeen years old, and I just want to be the first one to say something. Megan is my best friend above best friends. Whether we're forced together out of circumstance (a pair of two in a group of four, not including the odd one). Or perhaps we just complimented personalities.

Either way, she's been there for me. Whether it's telling me to stop being so melodramatic, or telling me that I'm the only one of us that can put anything well writen into their journal, it doesn't matter. We've had our fights, we've had our moments (She nearly drowned me at the beach!).

I wouldn't have given up these last six years with you as my friend for anything, except maybe an Orlando Bloom makeout. ;-) Megan, I want to thank you.

For listening to me cry.
For kicking me when I'm being idiotic.
For saying stupid things and making me look smart.
And most off, for being my friend.

Here's to one more year. If this is our last year together that we can be best friends, I hope we still remain close. And if we leave this year hating each other, I just want you to know it's been a ride, and I loved every moment of it.

So, here's your present!

( I'm broke, but I hope you get a kick out of it! )

I hate people who hate people.

I hate intolerant, prejudicial, assholes.

He's the sweetest boy in the world? Isn't that enough? He's stuck with me through hell and high water, thick and thin, and managed to keep a smile on through all of it. And I know if he did all of that for me, he'd do it for anyone.

So what does it matter if he's straight or bi or gay? He finally had the balls to tell his family that he is indeed at the least bi, and possibly completely gay (he's still trying to figure it out, and knows he is definitely attracted to other guys) and they totally freaked out on him, despite the fact that he's been there for all of them, even babysitting his own parents. They freaked and told him to get out.

How do you deal with that? How can you be who you were before after knowing that the people you love can do that to you? I feel sick talking about it, how must he feel? How much must it hurt?

And how can somebody do that to their own son? Their own brother? Their own friend.

Assholes. Assholes the whole lot of them.

I <3 you babe, always here for you.

My mom just bought me the biggest, most emo glasses I've ever seen.

I love them :-) Of course, it helps that I have the type of face that can pull off the big sunglass look.

I know some people will laugh at this, but I love big sunglasses. And I know they look god awful on some people.

But I think they're cute, so I'm keeping mine :-)

Edit:

Nerwen asked for it!

Especially black cats, like my lovely Salem.

So this is why I like this story so much :-)

( Black Cat is rescued! )

If you can spare a few dollars, donate to a good cause :-)